Beautiful Pain

“Yet when He heard that Lazarus was sick, He stayed where He was two more days.” John 11:6

This miraculous story begins with the following declaration, “Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus” (v5). It is as if God were teaching us that at the very heart and foundation of all His dealings with us, no matter how dark and mysterious they may be, we must dare to believe in and affirm His infinite, unmerited, and unchanging love. Yet love permits pain to come.

Mary and Martha never doubted that Jesus would quickly avert every obstacle to keep their brother from death, “yet when He heard that Lazarus was sick, He stayed where He was two more days.”

What a startling word: “Yet”! Jesus refrained from going not because He did not love them but because He did love then. It was His love alone that kept Him from hurrying at once to their beloved yet grief-stricken home. Anything less than infinite love would have rushed instantly to the relief of those beloved and troubled hearts, in an effort to end their grief, to have the blessing of wiping and stopping the flow of their tears, and to cause their sorrow and pain to flee. Only the power of the divine love could have held back the spontaneity of the Savior’s tender-heartedness until the angel of pain had finished His work.

Who can estimate the great debt we owe to suffering and pain? If not for them we would have little capacity for many of the great virtues of the Christian life. Where would our faith be if not for the trials that test it; or patience, without anything to endure or experience and without tribulations to develop it.

selected from Streams in the Desert

I hope that this blesses you all today. I know that the Bride is experiencing a difficult season of ‘pushing’ before we see the true birth of those things which we have carried and prayed and worked for. Don’t give up. For a moment the pain may seem worse than your prior misery but when the Lord has let pain do it’s work and comes to restore– it is far better, far greater than we could have ever imagined. Contemplate Mary and Martha’s relationship with their beloved brother after they thought they’d lost him forever? “The Lord is gracious and compassionate, rich in love…” Psalm 145:8

Bless you all awesomely– praying for you

vision this past week…

i saw a battle field. one side was filthy and the grass was dead-beyond dead. the warriors were dark and their weapons were dark and they were yelling loudly and hissing. there was a castle that had been turned to rubble on their left and on their right was nothing. there was a dark sun behind them.

on the other side was a hill. there were people covering the hill and the grass around them was not dead but dry. they were numerous but not as numerous (it seemed) as the dark warriors. they were all made out of glass. they were an army. they were tired and seemingly fragile but they were an army.

then the dark warriors charged towards the glass people. as they came closer a light came up behind them from the other side of the hill that was reflected so brilliantly through the glass that the dark warriors were blinded. their eyes were burned from their sockets and they stay in the middle of the battlefield writhing in pain. the glass people never had to touch them.

i kept hearing– “the glory of our God out shines the sun” “the glory of our God out shines the sun”

we can be made beautiful and seemingly fragile and even transparent. our only function is to reflect Him. to become small.

love you all and praying for you

there’s no place like home…

i’ve been back in the states for a week and a half now and most of that i’ve been SICK! bleck. i got home and got all of my cleaning done and bills paid and had four different nights of worship lined up for the last week and i was able to do 0 of them… lost my voice, had a fever, congestion, all kinds of fun. though i’m not a fan of being sick (have to work on sitting still other than in the presence of my Jesus) it has been nice to have a forced break i suppose.

i was so glad to hop on the plane and fly home to texas. i want to buy cowgirl boots as my ‘ruby slippers’ as i chant to myself ‘there’s no place like home…’. i’m so thankful that God really has put texas in my heart as my home and the place that He has me. it’s never easy leaving everyone and everything you know for a new place and new surroundings and people– new ministry atmosphere as well. but we can be sure that He will take care of us as we leave what is known for the unknown following closely behind Him as Abraham did.

i’ll be working on those thoughts and some more thoughts the Lord has been speaking to me about worship and love here in the near future. i’ve also finally started editing photos from my trip to the uk and iceland (been sick remember) so i’ll be posting those soon as well

God bless you all beyond your wildest imagination. just talk to Him. sometimes with all of the teaching around us or the seeming lack of useful teaching around us we can get overwhelmed with the formulas and workings of our relationship with the Lord. so let’s have a season of simple and let the Holy Spirit take us into deeper things. forget all of the fog– just talk to Him.

love you all praying for you.

I’m in England!

hi everyone! i’ve arrived safely in chester, england after traveling for several, and i mean s e v e r a l hours. this morning at the airport in manchester i was detained for– four hours– as they scanned my guitar over and over and asked me the same series of questions 5 times as i tried to explain the difference between holding ‘concerts’ and ‘leading worship’.

in it’s simplest terms i found myself saying, ” i’m no one from no where, singing to and for Jesus. i don’t sing or play to entertain or to sell anything (though it sure helps when i do– but that’s not allowed here in the UK).”. pretty sure i said this over and over again before the lady decided to just ‘take my word for it’ and let me go. she was very pleasant outside of just doing her job

it was humbling rather than flattering to be held as a ‘suspicious rockstar’– i realized again how small i am and how large the things that God chooses to do through me are. the phrase rockstar even brings that sour look to my face. not because of anyone or anything associated, that’s not what this post is about. merely because it’s so far from my heart. there are things that i desire in this life that i hope will leave a lasting impact or a legacy if you will. my portion of the ‘abundant life’ that my Savior died to give to me. but more than those things i cherish my relationship with the One. the One who died for me and i’ll die to see. the One who is always here, always mindful of me, always caring for me, who uses all things for my good, who cares more deeply for the desires of my heart than even i do, who provides all of my needs every time, who delights in me even when i am weak and seemingly unable to do what i thought was my best, who always adores me… i want Him. i want to lift Him up and magnify Him at any cost and believe me, i don’t say that lightly– even at 26 i have paid some of the highest prices already for His namesake.

i know this next couple of weeks traveling through England, heading to Iceland and Ireland then home to Texas is going to be amazing and i can’t wait to share it with you all. the opposition is fierce and the fire is hot and we are the ones who will have to stand and not faulter. you can do it. you can do it. you can do it. when all else fails and hell is staring you in the face, our God is greater.

a scripture to think on:
New International Version (©1984)

“Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned.”

those who pay the price for love are rewarded not by material things– their reward is the power to love. think on love. what does that word mean to you? the first word that comes to my mind outside of all of it’s scriptural references is ‘commitment’. love is not love that knows condition or end– God will never leave us or forsake us and He is love. love is a safe place for all of your joy and all of your trial and struggle. love is always there no matter what. love smiles and delights in you even when your most recent actions brought love hurt. love sees the treasure that you are at all times. love sees you for all that you were created to be and not for your mistakes. love knows that no matter how bad bad gets, the good always outweighs.

1 Corinthians 13 >>
New International Version

1If I speak in the tonguesa of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,b but have not love, I gain nothing.

this is a great exercise: insert your name for ‘love’ and think of the people in your life– close to you or not. are you ‘love’ to them?

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails.

i could repeat vs8 a few times. God bless you all awesomely more updates and pics soon!

good reading!

http://utmost.org/will-you-lay-down-your-life/

He is in everything.

an extravagant gift

hi all

yesterday i received an amazing gift and i wanted to share it with you all. it’s been so encouraging to me already. God is so good and faithful. He knows just what we need and when we need it no matter what’s going on. bless you all i hope you all enjoy it as much as i have!

Shine Cate

how are you today?

i’m just sitting here, bummed that my camera hasn’t come in yet… apparently working on patience and wanted to know– how are you today?

how are you doing in your relationship with the Lord? how are your other relationships? are you joyful? what is your perspective on the difficult things that you’ve been going through? i hope all is well and that you’re experiencing the loving amazing comforting presence of the Lord in your joy and struggle.

also! i had a super fun photo shoot just to update a bit here’s a sneak peak!

you didn’t fail

last night i was up pretty late worshiping the Lord and we wrote a song that was based on a vision that i’d had a while back that i just thought could be so encouraging to some of you today. as we fight and as we live and as we seek Him we have to know that we see in part and we know in part like the word says. but there will come a time that we see Him face to face and i’ve referenced this scripture before with you all.

For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. 1Corin13.12

please take the time to meditate on that word. what is it really to think that now we only know in part? it amplifies our resolve that we must hear and trust the Lord rather than our own understanding or the understanding of those around us. i love this scripture because it also comes with the fact that we are ‘fully’ known. God knows all about us and cares over everything that concerns us– we need not worry about anything. as timothy writes– “do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and petition present your request to God. and the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus.” — there is an entire sermon i could break into on that but for now i will let you meditate on it and let the Holy Spirit say what He will about it to you. we will know fully– there will be a time when we know. but for now we must give up the desire to understand. it wont happen in this age. we must be the bride as written in the Song of Solomon who comes up from the valley of anchor (trouble) leaning on our beloved.

it’s ok, and right, to lean. it’s right to trust without knowing. there is coming a time when our full purpose as the bride of Christ will be revealed in our own understanding and for now the continual revelation is amazing. here’s a verse of the song that i wrote, i hope you enjoy it. i pray the Holy Spirit uses it to encourage you to trust without knowing fully what the Lord is up to. He’s so trustworthy. His plans and purposes are so beautiful.

oh God i was broken, least that’s what i thought
you filled me with water, and it came pouring out

and when i was empty, i thought i had failed
’til you showed me the flowers that covered the ground where the water fell

He loves you, He adores you, He’s obsessed with you, He can’t get enough of you, He turned all of creation upside down just to have you. Surely He will come to you.

love you all

Joy

Webster’s dictionary definition: 1) to experience great pleasure or delight : REJOICE, 2) the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires : DELIGHT. Hebrew dictionary definition: 8057. simchah, sim-khaw’; from H8056 blithesomeness or glee, (religious or festival):–  exceeding (-ly), gladness, joy (-fulness), mirth, pleasure, rejoice (-ing). (Found 88 times in the Old Testament, in 22 books)

Greek dictionary definition: 5479. chara, khar-ah’; from G5463; cheerfulness, i.e. calm delight:–gladness, greatly, (be exceeding) joy (-ful, -fully, -fulness, -ous). (Found 57 times in the New Testament, in 18 books)

Honestly, I know that this could be a really annoying subject for some. I have many friends right now who are trying to get a handle on true joy that comes only from our Lord Jesus Christ. I think our culture presents some scary diversions as things that will make us happy and keep us that way. “If I can only have this or be that THEN I will be happy.” When we take our eyes off of the ONE THING then we are easily lured away into all kinds of partial truths like this. The truth is: God may have some of those possessions in your future. He may have that position or job or family for you in your future. But having those things is not what is going to make you happy and keep you that way. That possession will soon become outdated or take maintenance that you do not as easily find joy in. That position or job or family takes a lot of work that you, in your imaginings and forethought did not see.

That’s why the Word of God frequently tells us to find out joy in the Lord. We are saved, we are loved, we are adored, He has our whole life planned out for us from beginning to end and He who began that good work in us is faithful to see it through to completion. We are complete in Him who is the head of all things, all powers, and all principalities. We are going to spend eternity with the Lord Jesus Christ seated with Him in heavenly places. There are reasons and thoughts and ways far beyond our understanding for the Lord wanting us to set our feet upon the rock. As I mentioned in my previous post– we must choose to live in the reality of God’s words and promises as truth and not allow our circumstances to become our reality and tell us who we are or what we can do. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Phil4.13  Sometimes the “all things” will be seasons of waiting, seasons of seeming lack, seasons of trial in relationships, seasons of seeming brass heavens. But let me encourage you, if you could not handle those seasons with Jesus inside of you and by your side then He would not allow that test. We must go through our testing and trials with the ability to fully receive all grace available to us during that time. We must allow God to use those things not only for our good but for the good of others around us. We must see the rich blessing and the stability that those trials are providing. When we are tested we are allowing God to use us and to know us and to love us on levels that we never would have experienced without such a trial. We must dwell on good things; choose our thoughts and emotions and as the word says cast down those thoughts which would exalt themselves above the knowledge of the God of the Angel Armies. Lets remember that the battle is not with flesh and blood but with powers and principalities. As the word also says, “as a man think in his heart so is he”– and out of the fullness of that heart the mouth speaks. Please, let us be a people who take every thought captive and watch what we let into our eyes and minds and hearts. Let’s make sure that it lines up with the word and will of God.

I go through all of these thoughts and scriptures with you because it is out of this knowledge and authority and confidence that we CAN have true and unshakable joy. Because we know that the battle belongs to the Lord, whatever that battle may be. And because we know that “He uses all things for the good of those who love Him”. So… let’s find some pure, noble, awesome things to dwell on in our thought life and start there. Lets get up every day and choose that we are going to serve Him with a fully abandoned lifestyle. Let’s choose our thoughts and emotions rather than letting them decide what kind of life and heart we are going to have. Let’s take hold of “peace that passes all understanding” and not let go for anything. Soon these things will become second nature but let me inform you that when they do, the door will open for another lesson and another after that and another after that. “Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” 1Corin.13.12  Do not allow yourself to be discouraged by the process of going from glory to glory.

glo·ry

(glôr, glr)n. pl. glo·ries

What an amazing for that process. There is strength and joy in our ‘secret place’ with the Lord when things are hard. So PLEASE do not neglect your relationship with Him. Hop into your closet or go in your bathroom and close the door. Go park your car in a big empty parking lot (please ladies not at night alone! ) Find a place to be alone with the Lord and learn to still your mind and thoughts with His peace and calm and experience love like you’ve never known. In that time with Him you’ll experience true joy and have a great foundation for your outward life.

Lord forgive me for not receiving your free gift of grace to walk out this life with the joy and abundance that you came and died to give to me. I receive that your death and resurrection was not just to give me the free gift of salvation but also to leave the Holy Spirit as my counselor and a measure of grace to walk the rest of this life with you in abundance and effectiveness and joy. You’ve never wanted for me to have anything but joy. Lord I love you, I adore you. Thank you so much that You love and adore me. Help me to experience that more and more. Help me to take thoughts captive. God I ask that you transform my heart and renew my mind. Get rid of old mindsets and ways of doing things that are handicapping my life and keeping me from all that you have for me. I realize that removing those old things and changing those old ways will be difficult but God you give me grace and I commit to go through it with You so that I can live in Your fullness and JOY. In Jesus awesome and beautiful name. Amen.

A scripture to meditate on

Titus 1:2

“God, who cannot lie, promised.”

What are the promises in His word that we need to stand on today? What of our circumstances look like they are overshadowing the truth of God’s word or His plan for our lives? Where are you needing to stand for, on, to see come to pass?

We have to choose. We have to choose to believe and live in God’s word as our reality and not our circumstances. Hebrews 11.1 says, “Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”. This is a time to live in faith, by faith, and not on what we see around us. God’s word and God’s promises are our reality and not our circumstances. So as you stand for what He has spoken to you I stand with you in prayer. We will see His words come to pass in our lives and soon, quickly Lord– His glory is not just for our eternity but for our ‘right now’.